well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
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Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
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The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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