I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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