So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
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Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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