can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
