He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize