turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
