butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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