The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
