he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
