She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
