i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize