Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
