Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
