This girl is more easily done than said...
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize