i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize