Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize