It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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