I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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