all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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