Sry I called you an 8
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
