She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize