She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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