was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
