and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
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She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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