oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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