we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
