My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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