I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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