im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You smell like stripper and shame
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
