dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
