Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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