so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
