my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize