Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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