one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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