sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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