I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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