There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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