I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
