i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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