Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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