my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
