I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
