I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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