I wanna bring you to show and tell
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I checked into jail on foursquare
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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