Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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