I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
