I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
