I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize