super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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