I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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