just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
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Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
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I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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