i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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