butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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