Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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