You're completely useless in the revolution.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
