If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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