when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
