he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
do nipples grow back?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
