Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
